Echoes From the Dragon’s Lair

The familiar smell that seems to accompany all Post Offices permeated the air as I stood at the counter of our local branch with my wife and daughter as we worked through our passport applications, and, in my case, a renewal. The postman behind the counter assisted my wife, and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed an older gentlemen enter the queue, and eventually make his way to the adjacent window in which he was assisted by a postwoman in what I over-heard to be his own quest for a passport renewal.

Turning to get a better look, I recognized him immediately.

“Well,” the postman began, snapping me back to the task at hand, “two of the three sets of pictures turned out alright, but one set was blurry, so we’ll need to take yours again,” he stated as he gestured towards my daughter before walking through a door that led to the Post Office lobby where the photos were to be taken.

Turning to me, my wife inquired, “Well, do you want to go with her, or stay here with the paperwork?”

I elected the former, and we made our way into the lobby where a make-shift backdrop was positioned behind a stool to allow the dull, personality muting passport photos to be taken.

While becoming lost in the surroundings as the postman made adjustments to his camera, I noticed a plaque on the wall that celebrated this building having been erected in 1986, with names of the sitting notable positions of the day, like President Ronald Reagen, as well as the Postmaster General, whose name eludes me at the moment.

As the postman wrapped up a much clearer, more acceptable image, I noticed the older man I’d observed previously walking towards the exit.

In that moment, I had two options. Either I allowed him to leave and I’d miss an opportunity, risking a very real potential that I may never see him again (let’s be real, none of us are getting any younger), or I intercept, and engage him in a discussion.

Anyone that knows me already knows that I chose the latter. I’m not a big fan of regrets.

“Mr. Moreland!” I exclaimed as he walked through the first set of glass doors that brought him into the lobby we’d be standing in.

As a bemused look crossed his face, I outstretched my hand, and continued, “Dave Foster! I was a percussionist in your classes many years ago. You were my first band instructor.”

“Dave!” he acknowledged, gripping my hand.

I appreciated the pleasantry, although I was fairly certain that my face, and name, were both likely lost in a sea of thousands of students he’d had over his several decades of teaching. With my classmates bringing up the tail end of his career, I didn’t expect that his mental hard-drive would be able to quickly access such information, but he powered on, simply knowing that I remembered him, and that it didn’t necessarily matter if he remembered me.

“What are you up to these days?” he asked.

I informed him that I’d become a railroader and held several positions ranging from Freight Conductor to Locomotive Engineer, and then made my way into management as a Trainmaster, and now a Manager of Safety and Training, I was sure to let him know that I’d continued my time on the Drumline and as a percussionist all throughout high school, and I proudly beamed that I’d spent a lot of time in a hard rock band, and that I still play to this day.

After admitting that he’d never delved into learning how to play a drum-kit due to being unable to afford one when he was younger, in spite of the prodding of his friends who believed it would be easy enough to buy his own “after a few gigs,” I shifted the conversation, introducing my daughter. I then informed him that she, too, had an interest in music as she passively dabbles with a guitar and drum-set of her own.

They passed a few words, with my daughter displaying her shyness, and eventually, identifying the subtle awkwardness that exists in a 10-year-old child, I sought an opportunity to get to the point that led me to disrupt the flow of Mr. Moreland’s day.

“Alright, so I remember in 7th or 8th grade, you had composed an original piece that we performed. I think it was called ‘Echoes From The Dragon’s Lair’. Did you ever get a recording of that? I’d love to have it…” I began.

“Ah! Yes! It was actually called ‘Sounds From the Dragon’s Cave!'” he exclaimed, as his posture straightened, and his face was illuminated with pride. “Unfortunately, we never recorded it, or produced it- It wasn’t very technically complicated, it was just a simple composition that was meant to help younger musicians learn to play together as a group.”

“Well, I just wanted you to know that- what, 30 years later? However long it’s been, I still remember that piece, and it touched me enough that I’ve thought of it for all these years.”

I saw tears form in his eyes, and his voice trembled as he said, “Well, thank you Dave. I don’t think you know exactly how much that means to me…”

He paused, then continued, “…you know, you’d never know this, but today has been a pretty rough day for me, and that just completely made my day. I… thank you.”

“No, thank you… and if you ever do something with that piece, please, let me know.”

He took down my phone number, and before shaking my hand again to go our separate ways, he looked to my daughter and said, “You know, Mrs. Murdock probably has a copy of Sounds From the Dragon’s Cave, so when you get to her class, make sure you ask her about it.”

He shook my hand, and we parted ways, both of us wearing smiles from the encounter.

After we completed our business, and the applications were mailed, we stepped through the glass doors that lead to the parking lot, and I turned to my daughter and asked her what she’d learned.

“Well… I learned that he was your first band teacher,” she said innocently.

“Well, you’re not wrong, but what I’d hoped you’d learned was that you never know what kind of a day someone is having, and sometimes, just saying something kind to them can change everything, so if you ever have something kind to say to someone- Make sure you do.”

“Yeah, that made me happy,” she replied.

Me too, kid. Me too.

The Innocence of a Child

The Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and her Elf on the Shelf “Bell,” I often look at my daughter with a sort of envious admiration. Her ability to blissfully believe, and to see the good in so many situations, unjaded by the world around her, is something I genuinely miss and adore.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a pessimistic person by most accounts, but I’m also not exceedingly optimistic. For me, the glass isn’t half full, nor is it half empty, but rather, it’s twice as large as it needed to be. I am a realist. I see things as they exist, albeit perhaps with a tinge of optimistic cynicism, depending on the circumstances.

Even on the eve of her tenth birthday, I’m watching her play with Bluey figurines on the living room floor as she binge watches the award-winning show on our television, something that has become engrained in our familial subculture, often finding us all watching it together.

There’s a big part of me that remembers my own youth, in which I probably played with Lego much later than many of my peers likely did (I never stopped, actually), as well as other toys such as Micro Machines, and die-cast toy cars. 

In reading about the developmental differences of only-children in Psychology Today (which is something I have in common with my daughter), it’s asserted that certain likelihoods can exist, such as academic exceptionalism due to receiving so much unilateral attention, as well as a higher propensity for imaginative play due to not having siblings to engage in play with.

All of that seems to check out for both of us, as I couldn’t begin the count the endless hours spent cross-legged on my bedroom floor as I’d build creatively technical models out of Lego, and act out wildly imaginative scenarios with the iconic minifigures. 

As years would pass, the Lego collection would be stowed away in plastic bins (thankfully never to be sold or discarded), but I’d continue to sporadically add to the collection here and there, with much less frequency until the COVID-19 pandemic reignited my life for the colorful plastic building blocks.

Although my childhood innocence was lost well before then, throughout those years in-between, I’ve become somewhat jaded by the world that exists around us as the reality of becoming an adult have set in. Amidst all of the responsibilities of existence that everyone endures, there are also the frustrations that exist with the political and social climate as the divisiveness of our duopoly continues to drive a wedge further between not only the political parties, but also their voters. The alienation that exists is likely what precludes me from aligning with either of the two major political parties as I find them both to be fairly deplorable for different reasons.

I’ve made a career out of leading grown adults (well, most of them) in an extremely unique and demanding industry, and only in recent years have I found ways to compartmentalize how I handled situations at work when compared to how I handle situations at home. On the railroad, there was always a reasonable expectation that people adhered to a certain set of rules, policies and federal regulations, and it was my responsibility to hold them accountable for their actions, however, at home, when you find yourself striving to mold a child into a respectful, caring, intelligent being, there is no rule book- You simply must figure it out on your own, taking cues from family and friends as to what methodologies you believe will be the most effective.

However, I’ll admit, fatherhood hasn’t been an easy road for me.

Unfortunately, in the earlier years of my daughter’s life, I was much less… empathetic. Much the same as I had no rule-book to reference on how to be a dad, she also had no rule-book on how to be a child. I’d often resort to raising my voice, or yelling, to get her attention, and although effective at accomplishing that goal, in retrospect, I can’t say it was healthy, or well received, as I’d had a few friends point out that I was being too hard on her. 

It took me a while to realize how important it was that I actually take the time to listen to what she has to say so I can better understand her perceptions of the reality that exists in her mind, and to empathize with her problems, and how I can help her tackle them. This has opened up untold opportunities for dialogue to help guide her in difficult situations with kids at school, the dynamics that exist amongst groups of friends, schoolwork, sports, and the other perils of being a kid, especially in times like these.

I hope someday she realizes everything that’s gone into the opportunities that we’ve provided for her to have the childhood that she’s had, and it goes well beyond the things she has (and Lord knows she’s got plenty of things), but more importantly the things we’ve done. The hockey games, the trips to Disney World (and Disneyland in a few short weeks), North Carolina, Tennessee, the Sunday afternoons bowling, the game nights, and everything else we do as a family…

Admittedly, only recently have I begun to feel like I’m somewhat alright at this whole fatherhood thing, but I still recognize that I’ve got a long way to go to become the dad I want to be, although I think that’s always a work in progress that likely never ends, but when it comes to being a parent, as long as we’re trying our best, we’re probably doing just fine.